"The need exists for this program in our congregation," my pastor told us. "There are more people in our congregation that need one-on-one care than I can handle alone. Please consider becoming a Stephen Minister." With those words in the fall of 1993, my interest was pricked and I thought to myself: This is something I should consider. Surely this will give me skills that I can use in my everyday life.

Stephen Ministry is named after Stephen, the first deacon (layperson) that the Apostles asked to care for the needs of the early church (see Acts 6:1-6). The program was started in 1975 by a St. Louis Lutheran pastor, Rev. Dr. Kenneth C. Haugk, who called on his laypeople to help as Christian care givers and counselors. He also developed the Stephen Series, a complete system of training and organizing laypersons.

I signed up with about five others and committed two years to the program. We began with 50 hours of intensive training. Our pastor and another trained Stephen Leader led us through instruction that included topics such as effective communication skills; the art of listening; identifying and expressing feelings; maintaining confidentiality; managing successful long-term care; and assertiveness training. We were taught to recognize needs that required professional care and given referral resources for counselors, physicians or community agencies. Finally, we were encouraged to use spiritual resources (God's Word, mutual prayer, devotional materials) when working with our care receivers. After our initial 50 hours of instruction, we were assigned care receivers and continued to meet twice a month for continuing education and supervision.

Crisis theory and intervention was one of the subjects discussed in training. We learned that the two Chinese characters used for the word "crisis" mean "dangerous opportunity." Thus, crisis in our lives creates a dangerous opportunity either for growth or decline. Crisis can include such things as the death of a spouse, the loss of a job or even the birth of a child. My goal as a Stephen Minister was to help my care receiver turn the corner in her crisis toward growth (spiritual, emotional and/or physical).

Throughout all our training, we were constantly reminded again and again of one truth: We as Stephen Ministers were merely the care givers; God is the Cure Giver!

I was commissioned in my church as a Stephen Minister and was committed to making a success of this endeavor to the glory of God. I just knew that I would receive a care receiver with a major crisis who would need my own unique qualifications.

Imagine my surprise when I met my first care receiver by the name of Jill*. As I initially got to know Jill, I learned that she was pregnant with her first child. She worked outside the home full-time, was a relative newlywed and had just completed membership classes in our church. Needless to say, she was excited about her pregnancy, and we chatted about her joy and also some of her concerns. As a mother of two young children, I could relate to some of her feelings. We prayed together and made an appointment to meet the following week.

In the next couple of weeks, I knew that I had made a new friend, but didn't feel as if I had accomplished much more than that. I even questioned God on this choice of a care receiver for me; after all, I reminded Him, weren't my "special abilities" better suited to a much more dramatic crisis? I struggled during those first few weeks about what to discuss with Jill; what new "insight" could I share with her that she couldn't read in a book all by herself.

After about a month of "bonding," I again prepared to meet Jill for lunch. As I entered the restaurant, I encountered a tearful and fidgety Jill. She and her husband had just received news that their child's ultrasound indicated some possible abnormalities. Their child might be born with a birth defect or brain damage. This news immediately changed our caring relationship from one of friendly chit chat to five months of intense discussion, probing God's Word and sharing our faith. In those five months, I became a mentor to Jill, because she was making many of the same decisions I had to make when my children were born (e.g., whether to continue working outside the home). I grew to realize she was a woman of great faith and a "spiritual sponge" who had never really been exposed to the Good News of salvation in Jesus Christ before her marriage. I was able to verbalize my faith to her and together we weathered the "dark cloud" of uncertainty that hung around the birth of her child.

Jill had a healthy child and our "official" relationship ended about six months later. She has made many life decisions and works outside the home part-time, spending the rest of the day now with her two healthy children. She is a strong proponent of our church's parochial school and faithfully attends church and our small LWML-based women's Bible study. Recently, she told me that our time together had been a real God-send for her at a crisis time in her life. I was humbled by her thanks.

God, the Cure Giver, knew better than I, the caregiver, what this young woman of faith needed at just the right time in her life. God, the Cure Giver, showed me, the caregiver, Who was really in control!

After 10+ years as a Stephen Minister/Leader, I have since seen many examples of God's work through this one-on-one ministry program. Thanks to God that He uses us to love, as we have been loved by Him in Christ Jesus! It's good to know Who is in control of the cure!

Because Stephen Ministers are pledged to confidentiality, Jill's name and other details have been changed.

Shari Miller is a member of First Lutheran Church, Helena, Montana, where her husband Rev. Larry A. Miller is pastor. Approximately 20 people participate in the Stephen Ministry program at First Lutheran. Shari is national LWML Recording Secretary. The Millers have two children.

For more information, contact: Stephen Ministries 2045 Innerbelt Business Center Dr. St. Louis, MO 63114 (314) 428-2600 www.stephenministries.org