Grief is the difficult-but necessary-process of dealing with any loss. Grief may result from loss of a job or a prized possession, a geographical move or the anticipated death of a loved one suffering a terminal illness. A woman in the GriefShare program at Trinity Lutheran Church in Lisle, Illinois grieved the loss of her pet. The woman was neglected as a child. Her only source of comfort was her dog. When the dog died, she grieved the loss.

Grief, if not addressed, can lead to physical or emotional problems. C. S. Lewis, the noted Christian writer, said he was surprised that grieving felt so much like sickness. When people experience fatigue, panic attacks or tense muscles, their doctors often diagnose them as having physical reactions accompanying their feelings. How can such pain be alleviated?

The grief program at Trinity, GriefShare, is an international organization founded by Christian people. It is biblically based. We welcome people into the program who are Christian or non-Christian. Our purpose is to meet them where they are and to offer not only support and help for personal healing, but also hope in Christ and encouragement in a relationship with Him.

The 13 sessions in the program are divided into two parts. The first part is a taped presentation featuring an expert on grief and recovery. Subjects include loneliness or anger or depression. Lay people also share their stories and feelings on the tape.

The second half of each session involves interaction among the participants, if they so choose. It is important that they talk about their losses, about how they feel. Many need to simply vent. Some express their anger with God. Many people struggle with issues of suicide. People share all kinds of situations, and each one is unique. No two are the same. Some people cry openly and at length. Some cry inside. As we talk through these experiences and remember past loved ones, they find comfort and hope.

A man in one of our groups lost his parents, wife and son in a short period of time. He was angry and confused and numb. It took a long time, but one day he walked into our group session with a cookbook titled: "A Man, A Can, and A Plan," an easy-to-follow book of recipes for the man who is totally unfamiliar with cooking. He now prides himself on his pot roast expertise. He is thinking about dating again. He had the courage to face his situation and deal with the reality. He was not only helped by the others in the grief group but also helped them as they dealt with their losses.

Another group member felt guilty when she started to enjoy socializing sometime after her husband died. She was affirmed by the group and helped to understand that this was okay, even healthy.

We may never forget a loss, but we can get through it. Sharing our grief can help.