Lifes A Fish Bowl Winter 2006 LWQ

Fish Bowl I recently purchased a Beta fish for my workplace. The other day as I watched it swim around, I found myself wondering just what the “fish” saw as it looked out at my world. Life in the parsonage has often been likened to “living in a fishbowl.” If that observation is true, then as a pastor’s wife, I could be called the “fish” here to share what I see. I see Christian people, a congregation of believers to which my husband has been privileged to shepherd. I see fellow sinners, redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus, congregated for worship and Christian fellowship. I see caring and concerned friends in Christ — friends compelled to witness the Gospel message. I even see a few confidants and women who study God’s Word with me. All in all, I see people just like me whose lives might not be as public as mine. How might church members see the pastor’s wife? Permit me to make a few observations:

Everyone knows who the pastor’s wife is and expects that she will know them.
People often believe the pastor’s wife is merely an extension of the pastor and his gifts, with the same expectations of his knowledge, counseling skills, opinions, and talents.
Many assume the pastor’s wife is “on call,” just as her husband is, no matter the time of day or night.
Sometimes the pastor’s wife is given the “jobs” in the church that no one else wants, even though her talents might be in other areas.
The pastor’s wife is sometimes expected to be the model wife, mother, leader, and friend. Since the pastor’s wife is just like everyone else —sins and all — the water in the parsonage “fishbowl” can become cloudy!

How can a congregation or an individual change its perceptions of a pastor’s wife? Here are a few suggestions:

See her as a person, someone who has Godgiven unique talents and abilities. Treat her as any other Christian friend.
Get to know and accept her for herself. Laugh with her, celebrate with her, and even weep with her.
Introduce her by name to others, not as The Pastor’s Wife.
Ask her to do tasks that fit her abilities; praise her on a job well done; allow her the opportunity to say “no.”
Remember she is also a wife and mother; she deals with the same joys and frustrations those roles produce.
Pray for her to be a God-pleasing helpmate for her husband.
She is not privy to everything the pastor knows. Don’t quiz her or expect her to betray her husband’s confidences.
She really does not know the answer to everything church-related, such as the location of items in the church office, the times and dates of every church meeting, and so forth.
Surprise her with “Pastor’s Wife Appreciation Day.” Rejoice in your friendship in Jesus Christ. Appreciate one another.
As sisters in Christ, marvel at all that God is accomplishing…and then continue to “swim” together in Christ’s service and to His glor

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