God's Leading:My Calling
by Patricia Reck

Do we ever really know what we are called to be? I ask because my "calling" these past two decades has changed half a dozen times.

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, teacher, friend was my proverbial list in the late spring of 1981 as my husband and I struggled through new-home ownership, new enterprise start-up, confirmation plans for our third born, and the advent of a summer of puppies and raspberries. Then one morning, shortly after dawn, my list changed to widow, single parent, caregiver, employer, sister under stress, friend in need, indeed.

God had called my husband home at age 38. In the months to come I often asked, "Whatever will I do now, Lord?" In my grief I did not realize He would never leave me and He had marvelous plans for me.

Life as a relatively young widow was difficult. The days darkened those first few years; grief resurfaced in unlikely places. There were profound health issues with the children, my parents became senile swiftly and required myriad long distance trips to their home for meal preparation and emotional support. The eventual sale of my childhood home and the search for care facilities were heart wrenching. In the next three years I lost both parents, and then cried, "Why me, Lord?"

When I got on my feet again, I began to rewrite my identity: child of God, upheld these years by Him, surrounded by the love and support of family, friends and church body. I was privileged to teach overseas (realizing a childhood dream) in the heart of Tokyo, both handicapped children and English as a Second Language classes. I found myself traveling and evangelizing abroad!

I returned home to a rapid succession of four beautiful grandchildren, and I got back into the LWML fold in the 1990s. I had time to become active in the local society that had supported me during my struggles. The prayer warriors and sisters in a growing church became my support system as we expanded our Christian Growth events, retreats, rallies and travels.

As I began to meet women with health issues, those abandoned by divorce or struggling in marriages, and other widows struggling with "aloneness," I knew God was calling me to serve them, if only by my companionship. "I know exactly how it feels," I can say. "It's okay to be angry right now; it's certainly all right to weep."

God uses the "gray wave," the mentoring of those of us who have gone before, encouraging young Christian sisters to step out and be bold in their leadership skills. How do we love and lead? We hug, we laugh, we invite, we call, we share Scripture and meals, we visit, we write cards. I know how important all this had been to me.

God's leading in my life also led to short-term mission trips to bright-eyed Ojibwa-Cree children, an LWML district office, and speaking engagements that support missions. My "calling" list now reads: Christian, seeker of lost souls, mother, grandmother, dear friend. And I'm delighted that any day now He may open yet another door. I pray to be still, to listen and to let Him lead. Q

Patricia Reck is vice president of Gospel Outreach of the Oregon District LMWL.